dont think I can be natural nemore! (goes off)

Sometimes I really don't like my hair and I'm feeling frustrated.  This is one of those times


I really tried and wanted to make it work but there is a possibility I'll be going back to creamy crack.  Several months ago, I was very enthusiastic about natural hair. well let's just say I'm the complete opposite now and I don't know if it's a phase or a complete mind change.


I feel a twinge of guilt because I should like and prefer the curls and coils that grow out of my head right? but I just don't  For the past few months I've been wanting to either just perm it or go weave it up again.  (Still natural since Nov. 2010!)  I'm frustrated with my shrinkage, thickness and density.  I think what is really getting me is the length. How can my hair be collarbone length but then shrink up to my ear when it's dried?  This is the worst because I am a length whoreeeee


What makes it so bad is that I'm at that "awkward stage". As I've said my hair shrinks up to my ear when wet.  WTF cute styles can I truly do with that at home?  There are 0 natural salons here and you know most beauty shops will look at you crazy if you dare walk in without being relaxed smh


All these juices and berries, no heat, finger comb...hair boards might tell you they're all better for your hair, but if that's all you do I dont see how it can  look styled It's like either you damage your hair or it doesnt look "polished". Why does it have to be this wayyyy???  ( finger combing alone will make my hair dread up, I have to comb it under running water.)


And Imma keep it 100, some of these hair styles will get you clowned if you try to wear them out. If this has happened to anyone, how do yall deal with that?  IDK if I am strong enough for that. I almost feel safer wearing the majority styles like Kim K weave, and the looks in Hype Hair  magazine LOL I dont have the courage to venture outside of that range, but props to all who do yall better than me


Maybe I would have the best of both worlds if I texlaxed (yeah, I know that means I won't be a technical natural, but it will still look that way and probably use most of the same hair styling tips).  I cant figure out why when my hair was at it's peak, I was relaxed...but now that went natural and doing what is logically supposed to be better, the integrity of my hair has been degraded? 


I think I need a relaxer to get the look I want. I'm disappointed that I'll probably be looking for some Mizani in the near future

Ilove ain't strong enough?  I refuse to believe that.  I believe you are just frustrated with your length...and this is coming from a chick with no hair who is a certified, bonafied and notarized length whore.  

stretch your hair with braids, twists, etc and you'll be amazed at how many more styles you can do.

i think this is a regional issue as well. where i live, natural hair is more frowned at than praised. i wear wigs most of the time, so my hair is almost never shown. however my newly natural friend is showing off her fro and gets compliments but also gets ignorance.

Hey ILoveMR, I'm sorry to hear your frustration. I've been natural most of my adult life and I get frustrated with my hair too, so to ease your thoughts it's NOT just you.  Although you've been natural over a year there may still be the need for some experimenting, which youtube is great for. After much deliberation if you feel you want to go back to relaxed hair go for it, I think healthy hair is more important than whether you're relaxed or natural. There are planty of relaxed girls with healthy hair. Only finger combing, isn't necessary you have to find what works best for you and your hair. Do you have a regular regimen down? I'm just curious.